‘Bipolaroid’

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    BIPOLAR. AS the presidency, so is the boy. Or vice-versa, it matters not. As much the same, so much the shame.

    Exhibiting that pattern of behaviour that swings from the lows of manic depression over the Marcos dictatorship and  obsessive compulsion over the Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo maladministration at one end, to the highs of his  father’s  accidental martyrdom and his mother’s  misqualified beatification at the other.

    Bipolarity coming manifest anew in    he  recent events that spotlighted the President BS’s moments.  Babbling before Pope Francis in  Malacañang, thus:Then-President Marcos declared Martial Law in 1972, when I was 12-years-old, beginning an era in which the  most fundamental rights of many Filipinos were flagrantly and routinely violated.

    It was in this environment  that I came  of age. In a sense, I had a front row seat to that tyranny and persecution. After all, the dictator wasted no time  in having my father,  one of his most influential and vocal opponents, imprisoned.  Martial Law deprived our family not only of a loving husband and father. Many of our friends  avoided us.

    There were few who dared speak up…… Hence, there was a true test of faith when many members of the Church, once advocates for the poor, the marginalized, and the helpless,suddenly became silent in the face of the previous administration’s abuses, which we  are still trying to rectify to this very day. 

    Rambling at the Mitusbishi Motors plant inauguration such: Mitsubishi  Philippines found a way to stand by their commitment to the Filipino people and to continue growing through the long  years of the dictatorship and the coups that threatened instability during my mother’s presidency. 

    Driveling at the  wake of the SAF heroes, hence:  Ako man ay nawalan ng mahal sa buhay nang biglaan. Naaalala ko nga po ang sandaling nag-uusap kami ng aking yumaong ama.

    Nagdesisyon siya noon na dumating na  ang panahon para  bumalik siya sa ating Inang  Bayan mula sa Amerika…… Mag-isa po akong nanonood ng telebisyon sa bahay   amin noon sa Boston, naghihintay ng balita tungkol sa nangyari sa aking ama. 

    Narinig ko pong sinabi ng announcer  sa  telebisyon: “Opposition leader Benigno Aquino  was seen lying in a pool of blood; shots were fired.” Sa oras  pong iyon, para pong tumigil ang oras sa akin, huminto at halos wala akong napansin sa buong kapaligiran;  bumaliktad ang aking mundo. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang pagkabigla na naramdaman ko.

    Ni minsan, di  namin naisip na may posibilidad man lang na  papatayin siya. Pinakamabigat na siguro ay ang ibalik siya sa kulungan.  Kaya’t talagang nagulat kami sa nangyari. Sa kanyang pagbalik, hindi na po nagawang makatuntong pa ng aking   ama sa lupang sinilangan.

    Pababa pa lang ng eroplano, walang habas na siyang pinaslang.  Nang makumpirma  ang nangyari, hindi ko  pinahintulutan ang sarili kong maiyak. Pinigil ko ang luha ko, at inilipat lahat sa galit. 

    Ang  ama po namin ang pinuno ng pamilya;  siya ang aming tagapagtanggol, ang gabay at inspirasyon, at ang bukal ng lakas na  sa aming mag-anak noong mga panahon ng Martial Law. 

    Pakiramdam ko, nawalan na ng  puwang  sa maayos na pag-uusap; itong hinahanap na kadiyalogo ng tatay ko, at ang kanyang  mga kasamahan;  sila ay nagmistulan nang  mga asong ulul na hindi na kayang makausap nang matino. Ang sabi ko, ibibigay ko saking ama ang tamang paggalang; at pagkatapos, gagawin ko sa kanila ang ginawa nila sa aming  pamilya.

    Sa kinakamalungkot at pinakamasakit na sandaling ito, ilang tanong ang bumabalot sa  isip ko: Ngayong wala na ang  aming ama,  paano natin maaabot ang kanyang inaasam para sa bansa? Ibig sabihin ba no’n, tapos na  ang laban?

    Yung namatay na para sa bayan  ang aking ama, at wala man lang tayong  nakamit na pagbabago, ‘di ba’t      sayang namanang kanyang sakripisyo, at ng libo-libong Pilipino?  Sa mga panahong iyon, di ko maiwasang isipin na ang huling yugto noon ay hahantong sa madugong himagsikan.

    Ngunit nagsimulang magbago ang pananaw ko  nang makita ko ang dami ng taong nanindigan at nakiramay sa labas  ng aming bahay sa Times sa Quezon City.  Tila  ba hindi na sila natatakot sa Batas Militar. Dito ko po nakita ang posibilidad na maitutuloy ang laban kahit wala  na ang aming pinuno…

    “Eulogy of His Excellency Benigno S. Aquino III, President of the Philippines, At the Necrological Service for the Fallen PNP-SAF  troopers.” So the Official Gazette at www.gov. ph tagged that piece.

    A  more definitive title would have been: “Eulogy of His Excellency Benigno S. Aquino III, President of the Philippines, for His Father, Benigno S. Aquino Jr. At the Necrological  Service for the Fallen PNP-SAF troopers.” For it was his  long dead father that he eulogized, NOT the present corps of heroes who lay in honor right before him. 

    On one hand,  he felt unobliged to be there at  Villamor when the mortal remains came home. On the other, he obliged their  grieving widows, families and friends – in the darkest moment of their mourning – to listen to him  panegyrize his  father.

    If only to find cause to damn Marcos anew, and obfuscate his direct accountability, his  liability, his culpability, for the carnage.A life of alibi – Marcos and GMA ever to blame. A life of entitlement – being Ninoy and  Cory’s heir.  The Pnoy presidency – a world removed from the Filipino constituency.  Aye, that affliction long ago politically corrected to Down’s Sydrome, resurfaced in  this much maxed variant, bipolaroid.       

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