LET me tell you a story. Dante, one of the successful businessmen in the city, was highly critical of his competitors’ storefront windows. “Why, they are the dirtiest windows in town,” he told his wife.
It was not only his wife – but other businessmen as well – who grew tired of his continual criticism and nitpicking comments about his competitors’ windows. “What can I say,” the wife replied.
One day, over coffee, Dante carried the subject just too far. Before leaving, a friend suggested to Dante that he get his own windows washed. Dante followed the advice, and the next day at coffee, he exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. As soon as I washed my windows, my competitor must have cleaned his too. You should see them shine.”
As Dale Carnegie, American writer and developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, and public speaking, puts it: “ Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.”
To criticize means, according to my dictionary, is “to find fault with” or “to point out the faults of.” But criticize also mean “to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly.”
The usually unflappable Winston Churchill could handle anything; he endured the chaos and terror of World War II without losing his cool. But at least one event in his life had a humbling effect: the day that Lady Nancy Astor became the first woman to sit in the British House of Commons.
At one time, the two were staying with Churchill’s cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, at Blenheim Palace. During the dinner, Lady Astor told the British prime minister: “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” He looked her straight to the eyes and remarked, “Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”
Their exchange of words may be funny but what if you were the recipient of such offending words? What if someone will tell you any of the following statements: “You have an inscrutable beauty” (which actually means ugly) or “Your acting will surely put everyone to sleep” (another way of saying “You’re boring”). Then, there’s that famous movie line: “You’re nothing but a second rate, trying hard copycat.”
“What people say about us is never quite true; but it is never quite false, either; they always miss the bull’s-eye, but they rarely fail to hit the target,” Sydney Harris once said. On his 90th birthday, American president Herbert Hoover said, “Criticism is no doubt good for the soul but we must beware that it does not upset our confidence in ourselves.”
Dr Jose Rizal, our very own national hero, once said: “We need criticism to keep us awake.” To which Donald H. Rumsfeld, former US Secretary of Defense, agrees: “If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.”
However, take heed of your critics. Take the case of Samuel L. Jackson. The award-winning Hollywood actor no longer loses his cool when playing golf, thanks to one critic. “One day, I did get angry with myself and threw a club,” he recalled. “My caddie told me, ‘You’re not good enough to get mad.”
A fair lady once wrote me if I accept comments. What she actually means if I can live with criticisms. “Sure, I acknowledge both good and bad comments,” I replied. “The good comments tell me that I am on the right track. The bad comments are my gauge to strive better. In other words, what I am doing is not good enough.”
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved with criticism. O.A. Battista said, “One of the surest marks of good character is a man’s ability to accept personal criticism without malice to the one who gives it.”
What the Bible says about being a critic? It said, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.”
Henry Ward Beecher pointed out: “We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”
More often than not, don’t believe what critics say about you or your ability. Bill Cartwright, who became one of the famous basketball players from NBA, comments: “I remember when I was in college, people told me I couldn’t play in the NBA. There’s always somebody saying you can’t do it, and those people have to be ignored.”
In our daily activities, we tend to criticize others because it’s 100 times easier to do so than to praise someone. “It is much easier to be critical than to be correct,” Benjamin Disraeli surmises. “Lots of faults we think we see in others are simply the ones we expect to find there because we have them,” Frank A. Clark contends.
O.A. Battista said, “One of the surest marks of good character is a man’s ability to accept personal criticism without malice to the one who gives it.” This reminds of a story. A woman at a mall was looking at the ice cream. Another woman came up behind her and grabbed hold of her hand. “Get away from there. You don’t need that. You’re already overweight.”
The startled woman turned around to face her critic. The woman who had approached her realized she had confused this woman with a friend.
The woman gained her composure and responded to her critical assailant with these words: “You mean you have a friend!?!”
Lord Alfred Tennyson advices: “No man ever got very high by pulling other people down. The intelligent merchant does not knock his competitors. The sensible worker does not work those who work with him. Don’t knock your friends. Don’t knock your enemies. Don’t knock yourself.”
Brilliant people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.
Which are you?
It was not only his wife – but other businessmen as well – who grew tired of his continual criticism and nitpicking comments about his competitors’ windows. “What can I say,” the wife replied.
One day, over coffee, Dante carried the subject just too far. Before leaving, a friend suggested to Dante that he get his own windows washed. Dante followed the advice, and the next day at coffee, he exclaimed, “I can’t believe it. As soon as I washed my windows, my competitor must have cleaned his too. You should see them shine.”
As Dale Carnegie, American writer and developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, and public speaking, puts it: “ Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do.”
To criticize means, according to my dictionary, is “to find fault with” or “to point out the faults of.” But criticize also mean “to consider the merits and demerits of and judge accordingly.”
The usually unflappable Winston Churchill could handle anything; he endured the chaos and terror of World War II without losing his cool. But at least one event in his life had a humbling effect: the day that Lady Nancy Astor became the first woman to sit in the British House of Commons.
At one time, the two were staying with Churchill’s cousin, the Duke of Marlborough, at Blenheim Palace. During the dinner, Lady Astor told the British prime minister: “Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee.” He looked her straight to the eyes and remarked, “Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.”
Their exchange of words may be funny but what if you were the recipient of such offending words? What if someone will tell you any of the following statements: “You have an inscrutable beauty” (which actually means ugly) or “Your acting will surely put everyone to sleep” (another way of saying “You’re boring”). Then, there’s that famous movie line: “You’re nothing but a second rate, trying hard copycat.”
“What people say about us is never quite true; but it is never quite false, either; they always miss the bull’s-eye, but they rarely fail to hit the target,” Sydney Harris once said. On his 90th birthday, American president Herbert Hoover said, “Criticism is no doubt good for the soul but we must beware that it does not upset our confidence in ourselves.”
Dr Jose Rizal, our very own national hero, once said: “We need criticism to keep us awake.” To which Donald H. Rumsfeld, former US Secretary of Defense, agrees: “If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.”
However, take heed of your critics. Take the case of Samuel L. Jackson. The award-winning Hollywood actor no longer loses his cool when playing golf, thanks to one critic. “One day, I did get angry with myself and threw a club,” he recalled. “My caddie told me, ‘You’re not good enough to get mad.”
A fair lady once wrote me if I accept comments. What she actually means if I can live with criticisms. “Sure, I acknowledge both good and bad comments,” I replied. “The good comments tell me that I am on the right track. The bad comments are my gauge to strive better. In other words, what I am doing is not good enough.”
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved with criticism. O.A. Battista said, “One of the surest marks of good character is a man’s ability to accept personal criticism without malice to the one who gives it.”
What the Bible says about being a critic? It said, “Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath.”
Henry Ward Beecher pointed out: “We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started.”
More often than not, don’t believe what critics say about you or your ability. Bill Cartwright, who became one of the famous basketball players from NBA, comments: “I remember when I was in college, people told me I couldn’t play in the NBA. There’s always somebody saying you can’t do it, and those people have to be ignored.”
In our daily activities, we tend to criticize others because it’s 100 times easier to do so than to praise someone. “It is much easier to be critical than to be correct,” Benjamin Disraeli surmises. “Lots of faults we think we see in others are simply the ones we expect to find there because we have them,” Frank A. Clark contends.
O.A. Battista said, “One of the surest marks of good character is a man’s ability to accept personal criticism without malice to the one who gives it.” This reminds of a story. A woman at a mall was looking at the ice cream. Another woman came up behind her and grabbed hold of her hand. “Get away from there. You don’t need that. You’re already overweight.”
The startled woman turned around to face her critic. The woman who had approached her realized she had confused this woman with a friend.
The woman gained her composure and responded to her critical assailant with these words: “You mean you have a friend!?!”
Lord Alfred Tennyson advices: “No man ever got very high by pulling other people down. The intelligent merchant does not knock his competitors. The sensible worker does not work those who work with him. Don’t knock your friends. Don’t knock your enemies. Don’t knock yourself.”
Brilliant people talk about ideas. Average people talk about things. Small people talk about other people.
Which are you?
