Election time-out

    510
    0
    SHARE
    I woke up this morning with a bugging headache.  Ignoring the throbs in my head, I headed for the door to get the morning paper.  “Must be the early morning trips to the bathroom that interrupted my snooze,” I rationalized.  Then, as I bent to pick up the newspaper, I heard a creak somewhere in my lower back.  “Just a matter of stretching,” I explained away.

    I lazily laid my back on the couch and leafed through the frontpage.  “PCOS cards defective,” shouts the headline. Other controversies catch my focus:  DOJ Acting Secretary reverses himself and includes 2 Ampatuans in the murder raps.  Stocks and peso tumble on election jitters. No-El scenario tackled at Malacanang.

    My headache worsens.  So I take my morning maintenance pills.

    Ah! Maintenance medications.  Cues of getting old and gray.  I used to believe that age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.  But when I saw my chest descend to my midsection, I knew that age was catching up on me.

    By way of providing a breather from the dizzying election hullabaloo, allow me to digress a bit in this article and talk about something light (or worth skipping over?).  Here, dear readers, are a few of the telltale signs of aging.  Read on, and laugh your age off.

    You know you are getting old when…

    You desperately try to remove the wrinkle off your socks, and then realize that you aren’t wearing any.

    Somebody sends you a text message in Jejemon lingo (MuZtah pOh?) and it takes you 10 minutes to compose a reply using the correct spelling and grammar.

    You are still glued to a transistor radio listening to your favorite morning program in the AM station.

    Your abdomen blocks off your supposedly uninterrupted view of your feet.

    You are in demand as a Godparent, but more of weddings than of baptisms.

    MTWTFSS stands for the marks on your medicine organizer, and not your appointments for the week.

    You associate “wake” more with funeral parlors than to what happens after sleeping.

    There is a refusal on your part to touch the PC’s mouse because you hate rodents.

    You pull out your wallet and show your family’s pictures to friends, while they open the “Gallery” folder in their mobile phones.

    To read fine prints you squint until your eyes look like Kim Chu’s.

    You don’t know who Kim Chu is.

    Now that you’ve let out that wide grin, believe it or not, you’ve just erased years off your face.

    If still unconvinced, take comfort in the wise words of Thomas Bailey Aldrich: To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent — that is to triumph over old age.



    Quote for the week:

    “Time wounds all heels.” — Dorothy Parker


    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here