Donita and Eric were married for 12 years, and got separated in 2016.
In an episode of “Magandang Buhay” aired on ABS-CBN, Donita revealed some details of the real cause of their separation, which also includes Eric’s having an illicit affair.
Their fight started when they decided to leave in the US.
“Napansin ko na medyo off na yung relasyon namin. From the Philippines kasi, we moved to US.
“Kasi sabi niya, he felt na he is not man of the house, because siyempre sa Pilipinas, may career ako, parang kinu-compare kaming dalawa. So, we moved to the US.
“Ang pagkakamali namin is we moved in with my mom’s side of the family. So, nagkaroon ng tensions between my family and him.
“And then, nag-request siya… noong medyo nagkaroon ng LQ-LQ [lovers’ quarrel], nagrequest siya ng time out. So, nag-move out siya on his own. Doon ako kinabahan na, kasi hindi kami naniniwala sa separation.”
When Donita came back to the Philippines, things weren’t like before.
“So, at that time, nagkaroon ako ng offer back dito sa Pilipinas. And financially, things are tough for me personally, and hindi siya tumutulong. So, sabi niya sa akin, ‘I want you to take this job, you have to obey me.’ So, bumalik ako dito. Pero things were off and I started going for marital counselling and stuff like that.
“And then, siya yung nag-initiate ng counselling. So, akala ko okay kami, kasi he would call five times a day, many times in a day. Sasabihin niya sa akin, ‘You are beautiful.’ Ang dami niyang sinasabi.
“Akala ko, it’s the right thing, we are on the right track. But, in my heart, something was telling me different.”
And lead to a confusion with her feelings towards her husband.
“Kasi nagpapa-counselling ako sa mga psychologists and pastors, so I would say, ‘Bakit siya nagpadala ng romantic video sa akin?’ Siya ang gumawa ng video. Pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit hindi ko siya ma-appreciate. There’s something wrong with me. Yun pala, it was God’s way in telling me na there’s something wrong talaga…”
Donita had sleepless nights, which wasn’t normal for her. because she’s a heavy sleeper.
“And then, leading up to the time na nalaman ko na may iba, hindi ako… Kasi sa gabi, kapag natutulog ako, kasi heavy sleeper ako, e, pero that time, gabi-gabi nagigising ako in the middle of the night.
“Normally, pag ganyan ang itinuro sa akin, mag-pray. So, I pray and pray and would go back to sleep, parang one week yun na nagigising ako…
“Hanggang sa Valentine’s day yun. That was three years ago… That was Valentine’s Day, hindi siya tumawag. So, sabi ko, that’s strange, baka nakalimutan lang niya.
“Tapos, noong [February] 15 na hindi pa rin siya tumawag, tumawag ako. And then, hindi siya sumasagot ng phone, then kinabahan na ako. Then, I felt na God was already telling me there’s somebody else na.”
She wondered why Eric had various reactions each time she asks him.
“So, noong nakausap ko na siya he said, ‘Why are you calling me?’ Hindi kasi ako ang tumatawag sa kanya, laging siya ang tumatawag sa akin, kasi raw yung connection. Naniwala naman ako sa lahat ng [sinasabi niya]. Naniwala naman ako sa lahat ng ano niya…
“And then, [after] nung Valentine’s, tumawag ako. Sabi ko, ‘What do you mean why am I calling you? I’m your wife. Saan ka ba?’ Tapos sabi niya, ‘I’m here in this place.’ Sabi ko, ‘Sabi mo nasa Las Vegas ka, bakit ka nandiyan?’”
Eric’s response… “‘E, kasi maagang natapos ang trabaho, nagyaya ang colleagues ko na mag-surfing.’ Sabi ko, ‘No, may something na mali.’”
That was the time when she confronted Eric.
“Parang may dating sa akin na parang may iba kang kasama ngayon. Parang siguro nagulat na lang siya at umamin bigla sa akin. Nagulat ako. I was not expecting it.
“Like, the only time I ever felt it na baka mayroon na talaga was the day before. So, there’s not enough time for me to process na what he was saying, na sinabi na niya yung pangalan ng babae. Sobrang nagulat ako.”
Even before they got married Donita told Eric that in case he would cheat on her she’ll leave him.
“Just to give you a little bit of background, before ako nag-decide na pakasalan itong lalaki na ‘to, in my mind, ginawa ko lahat para mapasiguro na hindi kami… I would choose the right man at hindi kami maghihiwalay.
“May usapan kami na if ever na mag-cheat siya, hindi na talaga puwede. But, when you’re in that situation at mahal na mahal mo yung tao, gagawin mo ang hindi mo akalain.
“I told him immediately noong sinabi niya yung pangalan ng babae, tapos umiiyak na siya. Then I said, ‘You know what, I don’t understand this, pero I love you and I’m willing to forgive you. I’m willing to…’
“Parang feeling ko, if you’re going to pass this, parang our relationship will be so much stronger. And God will use as as ministers to those who have been brokenhearted in the past, kung paano tayo nakabawi sa nangyari. After that, they sought the help of marriage counselling to save their marriage.
“After that, counselling pa rin nang counselling. Siya, nagpapa-counselling sa Amerika. Ako, nagpapacounselling dito. Nag-uusap kami every day, so I thought na gumaganda ulit.”
“Pero iba raw ang nangyari. So, yun pala… nalaman ko na nagkikita pa rin ulit sila [nung babae]. Hanggang sa nasabi ko na, ‘Okay, babalik ako sa Amerika after this project that I’m doing. Tapos mag-usap na tayo, mag-decide ka.’ ‘Tapos sabi ko, ‘It takes two people to make a marriage work. You have to decide, do you want to save our marriage or not?’
“Tapos sabi niya, ‘I’m not ready.’ In other words, kahit na the person that he was with iniwan siya para sa ibang lalaki, dahil sobrang tagal daw na hiwalayan ako.
“So, sabi ko, ‘Wait a minute, kung iniwan ka ng babae, but you’re saying na you are not yet ready to fix us, then malinaw na malinaw na sa akin that you don’t want to save our marriage.’
“Then, I will decide na, I have to move on na rin. Kasi I think it’s too much na, kailangang magkaroon ako ng respeto ako sa sarili.”
Did she regret with what have happened?
“Oo, naman. I think it took about almost two years bago ko sinign-an [pinirmahan] yung divorce papers. Alam ko na na may peace na sa puso ko nung nag-sign ako. I said, ‘God, hindi ako magsa-sign nitong divorce papers until you give Me the peace.’”
As of now Donita and Eric remains as friends. And does co-parenting for their only son Joshua Paul.
