FOR THE record, misogyny does not become acceptable simply because it comes from a powerful man, is defended by loyal supporters, or is wrapped in the language of politics. Yet in the Philippines today, whenever a woman is publicly demeaned, the conversation rarely begins with the offense. Instead, it quickly turns into an interrogation of the woman herself.
This disturbing pattern surfaced again in two recent controversies. One involved Rep. Bong Suntay’s crude remark directed at actress and television host Anne Curtis. Another involved Atty. Ferdinand Topacio’s misogynistic insult against activist and former party-list representative Sarah Elago.
Both incidents should have been straightforward matters of accountability. Offensive words were spoken in public. The public reacted. A sincere and humble apology could have settled the matter.
But that did not happen.
Instead of acknowledging the inappropriateness of the remarks, the narrative quickly shifted. The women became the subjects of scrutiny. Their professions were dissected. Their political positions were questioned. Their character, clothing, and supposed motives were dragged into the discussion.
In short, the focus moved away from the act of misogyny and toward the supposed worthiness of the woman who experienced it.
This is the familiar script of victim blaming. When women are insulted or objectified, the public conversation often demands that they prove why they deserve respect in the first place. Was she too outspoken? Too visible? Too political? Too provocative?
These questions are not attempts to understand but to deflect. They allow the offender and his eager defenders to escape accountability by shifting the burden of explanation onto the woman.
Social media has only made this worse. Online political fandom in the Philippines now behaves like a form of cult loyalty. Whenever a controversial figure is criticized, an army of keyboard warriors, vloggers, and self-styled defenders mobilizes almost instantly.
The result? Facts become negotiable. Context is twisted. Critics are attacked instead of arguments being addressed.
Women who speak out are often mocked or dismissed as overly sensitive, politically motivated, or simply seeking attention. Meanwhile the offender is repackaged as the real victim who is misunderstood, unfairly targeted, or merely joking.
This narrative does more than protect individual men. It slowly normalizes a culture where misogynistic behavior is repeatedly excused. Each justification sends a troubling message that a woman’s dignity can be debated if acknowledging it becomes inconvenient for those in power.
Accountability should never depend on political allegiance. Misogyny is still misogyny whether it comes from an ally or an opponent.
This cycle continues because public discourse keeps asking what a woman did to provoke disrespect instead of asking why such disrespect was tolerated in the first place.
Perhaps that is the question we should all confront. When a woman is demeaned and our first instinct is to examine her instead of the man who insulted her, are we really condemning misogyny or quietly enabling it?
