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Death in the Family

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When my father died of cancer last Feb. 10, I knew for certain he was spiritually prepared for the transition. He had received the last sacraments before he lost most of his faculties.

I, too, had prepared for such inescapable event in the family through decades of research that gave me certainty that there is life beyond the grave, rather in the case of my dad, the urn.

In some ways I had prepared by Dad for his death. Once conceived, no person ceases to exist and goes on forever, I had told him and mom several times over some meals, and I was quoting Jesus and the Blessed Mother in their recent apparitions in foreign lands.

Thus, I saw to it that both my parents (my father died at 91 and my still healthy Mom is turning 96 this April) fulfilled their religious duties to make sure the rest of their forever would be Heaven, even if via Purgatory. Each night at home was capped with prayers. Because my parents were super seniors, Lipa Archbishop Emeritus Manuel Arguelles, my mom’s first cousin, had told them they could just have Sunday Eucharistic service at home which they unfailingly had, thanks to the kindness of two Eucharistic ministers assigned by Lakandula, Malabacat parish priest Fr. Alvin Manalang.

It could be because of my openness to spirituality that of the many members of his family, Dad, past his earthly death, manifested himself only to me, not even to Mom. Always conscious of house security, he shook the living room door when I left it slightly ajar during a dry unmoving weather during his wake.

At another time, as I walked towards the toilet in the wee hours of the morning, he manifested himself in a small whirlpool of bright light at my left foot for about two seconds, as if to tell me, You were right Ding, there is life after death. This was so fantastic that, as soon as the light vanished, I asked myself Could I be dreaming? I tested self by whispering “Dad” with intent to feel my tongue pronounce the word and my eardrums to pick up the sound of my utterance. I wasn’t dreaming. Why, I even knew I was by then peeing.

But Dad’s positive manifestation was quite soon after he died. In his last hours, a nurse had to remove his upper and lower dentures in effect as if his lips hid into his mouth. And because he breathed heavily via his mouth, his lips were parched and cracked. In the first hours after breathing his last, his lips were thus unsightly. But when the funeral personnel arrived to take away his body, I again looked at Dad’s face and, lo, found his lips pinkish, perfectly shaped, and smiling.

Like me, I am sure Dad, in his new abode, is thankful to all who had offered sympathies and prayers. This, with a reminder that the bereaved should not be so selfish as to declare to all that the departed is certainly in Heaven and therefore, no longer needs prayers. This would be to console oneself, at the expense of the departed. It is possible my father could already be in Heaven, but it would be good to please still pray for him in case he has remained in Purgatory. If he is in Heaven, our prayers would be applied to us when our turn comes or to another soul who needs them or both, so Church teaching tells us.

On an entirely different subject, I, with some surprise, just came across some quotes from Padre Pio who is known to have counselled us “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”

In 1945, Padre Pio told American soldier Bill Carrigan: “Hypocrisy is the greatest evil of our time. It exists in all levels of our society, in high places and in low places.”

On the contrary, the quote shouldn’t have surprised me considering how frequently Jesus Christ Himself had often criticized the Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Or considering it’s election time again in the Philippines and it’s a common sight for politicians engaged in shameless speeches and other acts projecting themselves as candidates for sainthood. It’s nausea time but the option still for true Christians is to pray for them. They are good candidates for eternal damnation, if we are to take the warning of Padre Pio seriously.

Here are lesser known quotes from Padre Pio: “the devil is in the cinema”, “if you imitated Mary Magdalene in her sins, have the courage to imitate her in her penance”, and “happiness is not of this world.”

The last quote is significant for those in search of lasting happiness in this world. It’s not of this world, the Padre tells us and he was merely quoting Jesus Christ.

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