I was only ten years old when I was sent to Manila to begin my high school. I lived with my uncle and aunt and their children and placed under the guardianship of my lola and a spinster aunt who subjected me to higher educational standards.
The Jesuits wanted me to go to grade seven first but I refused and asked for the opportunity to prove myself.
They ultimately agreed, probably seeing some potential in this small kid from the province. I was the youngest and the smallest in my batch at the Ateneo.
My behavior and orientation was very provincial compared to the city kids who came from the city grade schools and were used to the dynamics of urban society. This was more pronounced particularly with those who were “social” in contrast to this “promdi.”
It was inevitable that I would be bullied. I was young, small and unwise about the ways and mindset of city kids in the beginnings of puberty. I became the butt of jokes and was even sometimes physically taunted with gestures and blows. It is to the credit of the faculty and the Jesuits that this bullying was controlled and moderated.
I also had friends and fellow students who did not like the treatment being given to me and stood up and protected me. A few of them even fought on my behalf. This was when the Jesuits would hand boxing gloves to the ones quarreling and have them slug it out in the covered courts, under their supervision and boxing rules.
At the same time, I was having problems with my academics. Everybody else seemed to be better, brighter, more articulate and more knowledgeable about everything that mattered. I was the class “goat.”
I almost gave up. Except for my pride and the example and encouragement of some exemplary teachers.
Onofre Pagsanghan, “Pagsi”, who demonstrated what it was to be a brilliant teacher and individual, showed that one can succeed at the Ateneo without being big and tall and “ma forma”.
Fr. Aureo Nepomuceno and Fr Luis Candelaria, Jesuits who happened to be Kapampangans, Mr. Romeo Bernardo (Geometry), Mr. Ephraim Caedo (Physics) and Mr. Jose de Leon (Economics) and others who all personally mentored me and gave me very good grades.
They were encouraging and gave me the confidence to begin to adjust and do well during all my studies at the Ateneo high school.
Bullying was something which was tolerated or even viewed with amusement as a normal and necessary process and occurrence during my school days. The one being bullied usually had to stand up and fight for himself. I learned to align with friends who would stand together with me.
I took up the judo-karate classes of Mr. Jose Asuncion, our PE teacher who would later become the actor Vic Vargas. Most of all, I studied hard and made the honors list. I demonstrated my capabilities to my tormentors who would begin to respect me and whose bullying would become hollow and even embarrassing for them.
Today, there is a greater awareness of bullying in schools and in the work place. There are now laws, rules and regulations, practices and advocacies against bullying. This has even reached technological levels to include cyber-bullying.
It is good that this attitude and values against being bullying are being promoted as an integral part of the culture and learning starting even with our youth. Hopefully this will be imbibed and carry over into their adult life.
Then this should impact against the hazing practices in fraternities and sororities; the browbeating by congressmen of invited persons in their hearings “in aid of legislation”; the unequal treatment by those in power against those out of power in terms of budget and project allocations and releases; the suspension of political officials who happen to be political foes but not of the other “sons of bitches” who happen to be our “sons of bitches”; the piling up of cases against the opponents who are not in positions of power but neglecting to apply the same measure to our cohorts; and other types abuse and bullying.
In the movie, “A Few Good Men” starring Tom Cruise, a young marine was hazed and died, after being given the “code red”, by his fellow marines upon instigation of the top official, a colonel ably played by Jack Nicholson.
Two big and strong young marines did the job because they were stronger, bigger and given the power to do so and the subject happened to be smaller, weaker, out of favor with the higher-ups and a poor reflection of their idealized marine. And they killed him even though he kept asking to leave and be transferred.
Tom Cruise, being the hero, through his cross examination was able to get Nicolson as the colonel to admit his having given the “code red” order and his liability.
The world of bullies is a hierarchy. There are those who bully levels under them and are in turn bullied by levels above them. KAKA are their initials. Kiss Ass, Kick Ass.
They kiss the asses of those above them and kick the asses of those below them. It is almost always the case that bullies are insecure yellow bellied cowards.
Soon, they will meet someone who will be more powerful and will be given a dose of their own medicine.
Or they will lose their power and will meet all the people they have bullied on the way up as they fall on the way down.
