Today's Punto
Today's Punto
Opinion
What hurts the most...?
By Don Allan Dinio

Aug 29, 2017

WHAT HURTS you most defines your inner self...because it affects what you believe in, what kind of person you are, your philosophy, what you live for and what you aspire for. Things that hurt you most come in various ways and different levels of pain and disappointment.

They can be material things in life that were not fulfilled or achieved. Most of the things in life that hurt us most are people...people that you care and love. Then you find out that those people don’t care and love you at all but care for people that don’t love them. How ironic indeed! Some just love to take advantage of you. I usually don’t trust people unless they give me a reason. Most people trust others till they find a reason not to trust them. If there were special awards given out every year for these kinds of people - the stage will be over crowded!

Truth is, what hurt the most is the old thing called “love”...affection by someone you love and care for. The person can be your best friend, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your spouse, your partner, your brother or sister, your mom or dad. The very person you respect, your source of strength to survive and follow for support, your model, persons that you admire, look up to or guiding light in life as a whole.

These are the very people that hurts us most. Mainly because they have taken our trust and confidence. We believe in them. They give us hope and perseverance in life. Unfortunately they hurt us most because sometimes they are the very same people that fail us, disappoint us, leave us behind when we need them most or when they have become part of you. Saddest part of it, sometimes they leave us for unexplained reasons.

One day in our lives, we wake up and realize that some of these people are not the ones that we thought they are. They are not what they are but just commercial products of pretensions. They have changed somehow or faltered in their own perfect ways.

Maybe we have misidentified them ourselves. Misjudged them. Expected too much from them. We thought they were what we want them to be. They are not the people that were worth our trust and confidence. What happened? Is it possible that we have changed drastically not them? Did we look to them so high and put them on a pedestal that they did not deserve? Was it that your expectations were so high...so perfect that you did not give them an ounce to make mistakes?

Once hurt...can you forgive and forget? Can you restart your relationship with them again? Can you trust them again? Will you care for them? How? Time heals everything. Sure it does, but sometimes time seems forever and sometimes forever never comes.

But what do you do if the person that hurt you is your brother or sister? Your mom and dad because they did approve of your chosen partner in life? How do you forgive them when they have done you wrong so terribly? How do you reconcile unreconcilable differences? Do you divorce them? Do you detached yourself completely from them?

How true is the saying...you can always choose a friend but not your brother or sister! Not mom or dad? Do you look for another person through the Internet, FaceBook or at the local park to replace your brother or sister? Hmmmm, that will be nice! But no....that hurts a lot too!

Truth of the matter is the saying holds true that...you can choose a best friend of yours and change your set of friends anytime you want to. Once they fail you, go to the next person in your neighborhood or your former classmates 20 years ago to make them your best friend. But this rule does not apply to your unwanted brother or sister or demanding dad or judgemental mom.

A friend who does meet your expectations or disappoint you to the max...you always can drop and forget that person for the rest of your life. Never see that person ever again, but unfortunately, that is not the case with your unwanted blood relatives or in-laws. You have to live that blood relationship with them to show that your family is ideal and normal. Wow, impressive. Really? You have to convince me though.

Not the case in this real world nowadays. I have read in newspapers and have witnessed for myself blood relatives, brothers and sisters, parents and their siblings suing each other - for the evil thing in this world, called money... exposing every dirty laundry they have in their house in public. Sad isn’t it! That is what hurts most too!

Yeah...sometimes people can go to extremes just to get their point across or to get what we deserved or not. That hurts the most! When my wife died, my in-laws took every bit of furniture from me that they gave their daughter. Ouch that really hurts. Not that my house was left half empty but my feelings for my in-laws went away that quick along with the furniture. I thought they liked me all those years I was married to their daughter. That hurts the most!

What hurts most, material things in life or people you care and look up to then disappoint you? Just pick one. Nah, forget that. You don’t have to pick one - after all it could be both.... people and material things in life spelled with the capital “M”....Money!




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